November 2004 Archives

For some reason, Stirling Newberry has quit. Stirling has always been one of my favorite bloggers. He has a real passion for what he believes and the ability to express it in writing. Here are some of my favorites.

"Justice must be seen to be done."

1968, The Sequel

The Rock Versus The Wave

Myself, I take it all in stride. I hope his blog mates will do so as well. But whatever goes on, I wish Stirling the best and am extremely thankful for his writing. To be sure, I'll miss reading his posts if he disappears. But nothing lasts forever and things do change. People do get burn out and implode. It's the friends that have to deal with the shit that help pull us through these episodes.

Take care of yourself Stirling. Passion is a double edged sword.

Been meaning to link to this for a while. Majikthise linked to two excellent articles which provide two different ways of looking at the same thing. Lends new meaning to the phrase "laugh while you can, monkey boy".

The Red Menace: Neopatrimonialism in America

True Blues believe that sentimental attachments are morally irrelevant and try to act accordingly: who is my neighbor?—everyone. Even more importantly, they believe that others do too. They trust people with whom they have no family ties or personal connections to honor their agreements and treat them fairly; they have faith that if they pay into the system they will get a return on their investment. They believe that their taxes buy public services, protection and social safety nets. They know the system is not frictionless: some of their contributions to the commonweal may be lost as heat through nepotism, patronage and the operation of old boy networks. Nevertheless they believe that these practices are outside the system, that the system works reasonably well and, in any case, that the alternatives are much worse.

For Reds, by contrast, nepotism, patronage and old boy networks are the heart of the system. Reds do not recognize serious moral obligations to others beyond the network of sentimental ties or expect "strangers" to recognize obligations to them. Moral obligation, in the Red system, obeys an inverse square law, reaching the vanishing point once it diffuses beyond tribal territory. Reds look to their friends, neighbors and kin for mutual support and count on heads of families and clans, ward-heelers, mob bosses and patrons, for protection. They do not expect strangers—in particular, the remote faceless bureaucrats who operate government agencies beyond the precinct level—to do much for them. Taxes, they believe, are not insurance premiums, dues or payment for services rendered but tribute to Big Men who use the proceeds to line their pockets and confer benefits on their relatives, retainers and sycophants. The only benefit Big Men at the national level provide is to citizens beyond their coterie is protection from competing Big Men abroad. Heads of families protect their kin and tribal chieftains defend their own against competing tribes; heads of state maintain their turf, thwart terrorists, repel foreign invaders and, if possible, expand their territory.

The other article is a bit, uh, more focused. It's a conversation with your monkey brain and although I disagree with some of the premises, it's still quite an entertaining way of explaining the same thing as the previous article does.

Inside the MonkeySphere - Twelve Steps to Total Enlightenment.

There is a reason why all of the really phat-ass nations with the biggest SUV's with the shiniest 22-inch rims all have some kind of representative democracy (where you vote for people to do the governmenting for you) and all of them are, to some degree, capitalist (where people actually get to buy property and keep some of what they earn). It monkeys out like this:

A representative democracy allows a small group of people to make all of the decisions, while letting us common people feel like we're doing something by going to a polling place every couple of years and pulling a lever that, in reality, has about the same effect as the darkness knob on your toaster. We can simultaneously feel like we're in charge while being contained enough that we can't cause any real monkey mayhem once we fly into one of our screeching, arm-flapping monkey frenzies (a woman showed her boob at the Super Bowl! We want a boob and football ban immediately!)

Conversely, some people in the distant past naively thought they could sit all of the millions of monkeys down and say, "okay, everybody go pick the bananas, then bring them here, and we'll distribute them with a complex formula determining banana need! Now go gather bananas for the good of society!" For the monkeys it was a confused, comical, tree-humping disaster.

Later, a far more cynical man sat the monkeys down and said, "you want bananas? Each of you go get your own. I'm taking a nap." That man, of course, was German philosopher Hans Capitalism.

As long as everybody gets their own bananas and shares with the few in their Monkeysphere, the system will thrive even though nobody is even trying to make the system thrive. This is perhaps how Ayn Rand would have put it, had she not been such a hateful bitch.

Right before we invaded Iraq, in Feburary 2003, Norman Mailer gave a speech before the Commonwealth club here in San Francisco. You can read the transcript of the speech here, or listen to the audio archive. The whole thing is excellent and well worth listening to, but one section in particular seems particularly relevant today.

For that matter, conservatism was heading toward a divide. Old-line conservatives like Pat Buchanan believed that America should keep to itself and look to solve those of its problems that we were equipped to solve. Buchanan was the leader of what might be called old-value conservatives who believe in family, country, faith, tradition, home, hard and honest labor, duty, allegiance and a balanced budget. The ideas, notions and predilections of George W. Bush had to be, for the most part, not compatible with Buchanan's conservatism.

The gap between his school of thought and that of value conservatives could yet produce a dichotomy on the right as clear-cut as the differences between Communists and Socialists after World War I. Flag conservatives paid lip service to some conservative values, but at bottom, they didn't give a damn. If they still used some of the terms, it was in order not to narrow their political base. They used the flag. They loved words like "evil." One of Bush's worst faults in rhetoric (to dip into that cornucopia) was to use the word as if it were a button he could push to increase his power. When invalids have an IV tube put in them to feed a narcotic painkiller on demand, a few keep pressing that button. Bush uses evil as a narcotic for that part of the American public which feels most distressed. Of course, as he sees it, he is doing it because he believes America is good. He certainly does, he believes this country is the only hope of the world. He also fears the country is rapidly growing more dissolute, and the only solution may be - fell, mighty, and near-holy words - the only solution may be to strive for World Empire. Behind the whole push to go to war with Iraq is the desire to have a huge military presence in the Near East as a stepping stone to taking over the rest of the world.

That is a very large statement, but I can offer this much immediately: At the root of flag conservatism is not madness, but an undisclosed logic. While I am hardly in accord, it is, nonetheless, logical if you accept its premises. From a militant Christian point of view, America is close to rotten. The entertainment media are loose. Bare bellybuttons pop onto every TV screen, as open in their statement as wild animals' eyes. The kids are getting to the point where they can't read, but they sure can screw. So one perk for the White House, should America become an international military machine huge enough to conquer all commitments, is that American sexual freedom, all that gay, feminist, lesbian, transvestite hullabaloo, will be seen as too much of a luxury and will be put back into the closet again. Once we become a 21st century embodiment of the old Roman Empire, moral reform can stride right back into the picture with all the hypocrisy attendant on that. The military is obviously more puritanical than the entertainment media. Soldiers are, of course, crazier than any average man when in and out of combat, but the overhead command is a major everyday pressure on soldiers and could become a species of most powerful censor over civilian life.

In September, academy officials issued a memo explaining the government's e-mail policy after some staffers put biblical verses at the bottom of their e-mails. Some cadets were admonished in March for using academy e-mail accounts to encourage other people to see "The Passion of the Christ," Mel Gibson's movie about the crucifixion.

The Google Scholar search site. Finally, a Google for peer reviewed articles.

Entered in some of my favorite search terms and found some fantastic hits right off the bat. Unfortunately, the results are almost always pay for view, but it beats the alternative if you're really looking for something and the noise on the web isn't providing anything remotely resembling an answer. Surprisingly, though, a random sampling through my results showed a fair percentage of non-pay hits.

If I had this kind of tool as a kid. . .

I love Ogged. He has a nice little post responding to Volkh's rant about religious reasoning and why liberals are attacking it.

But there's nothing wrong with religious motivations, or religious rhetoric, in the public arena, as long as the policy goals are available to justification and articulation in shared terms. (Note two things: this isn't just a confusion suffered by the religious; the anti-religionists among us sometimes seem to believe that any religious motivations or rhetoric are out of bounds in the political sphere. But that's like asking someone to give up his language before he comes to the debate. Having a secular society doesn't mean banishing religion, it means that religion has to make peace with secularism, and, if it can't, then it's religion that has to give way. Second, none of Volokh's examples involve the President using explicitly religious rhetoric and reasons. That's a more problematic case, insofar as the President, quite unlike eg John Brown, can be seen as speaking for the nation, or to be espousing the official position of the government.)

If you do not accept this simple and obvious fact of our constitution, then you're going to get nothing but scorn from liberals like me. It isn't the source of your reasoning that is the problem. It's the belief that your source of reasoning overrides the rule of constitutional law. Judge Roy Moore is a perfect example of this. So is Dobson, Falwell, Reed and the host of Jackals that think like him.

It's rooted in a deep belief in theocracy - i.e. A government ruled by or subject to religious authority. The US is not (currently) ruled by or subject to religious authority. Our authority is secular. This sticks in the craw of the theocrats, who want to do nothing more than flip this authority on its head.

Pure reason isn't where we start from. The nation has founding documents that delineate quite beautifully the shape of our fundamental reasons. We also have a rigorously democratic and increasingly egalitarian tradition of law and practice upon which we draw. The political space defined by our documents and tradition is the arena of public reason. That space functions like the "official language" of political discourse, and though speakers of all languages are welcome, ultimately, for decisions to be made deliberatively, they all have to translate their desires into our public language. Sometimes that's very easy..."are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights..." sometimes it's very hard..."God hates fags."

Adam Felber has the beginnings of the solution. The final solution.

But until we dupe the god-fearing and decent citizens of this country into voting for us, none of this is going to happen. We need to strategize now so that we can reap the benefits later. This won't be as hard as it sounds, not if we stay focused. Remember - loyal, patriotic Americans might have right on their side and the protection of their all-powerful God, but they are a trusting and largely uneducated folk. We can tempt them, we can fool them, and thus we can enact the destruction of their nation and their way of life. Here's how to do it:

. . .

That's really all it's going to take. If we can somehow convince a couple million more people that we liberals care about human life, America, education, defense, equality, justice, and protecting our environment... if we can make them think that we liberals actually love this country and what it stands for... if we can make it seem like liberals are just ordinary people with strong values and a deep belief in the American way... then we'll have them.

Above all, don't despair. If we really believe in ourselves, we can create a godless, immoral, and unprincipled America where gay terrorists are free to burn churches to the ground to pave the way for more abortion clinics, bath houses, and French restaurants. Only then will we be able to call on the forces of evil and lay waste to this despicable, Christ-blessed land that we all hate with such feverish intensity.

So don't just sit there and mope - let's get out there and tear down America!

Via Shriekback

Our time has come age of the hammerhead
This is our mission to be the darlings of god
Too late for silence too late for anything
It's all too much for me it's roots go down to deep for me
Our punishing fire an animal frenzy
These hammerhead people they know what danger is for
You let them in and now there everywhere
If it's mineral or vegtable it's back a little up a little

[chorus]
Shot push hammerheads bold and resolute
Marching balancing in too far to go back
Yes yes hammerheads swimming kissing
We are big and clever and we don't know anything

Purification by emersion in our filthy demon seed
We know the only things you like are paranoid sex and childish greed
Our own worst enemies they hold us to our word
Look at the beast inside us gonna get us this time but good
Whether we pull it out or push it in it all ends up the same
You know a hammerhead is a hammerhead by any other name

[chorus]

Onwards hammerhead bright and dangerous
Jumping running in the filed and factory
God save hammerheads keeping going
We are sleek and special and we're sure of something

Blessed are the airmen
Blessed are the shit kickers
Blessed are the jackhammers
Blessed is the big damage
Blessed are the faith healers
Blessed are the moon wlakers
Blessed are the snake people
Blessed are the heat seakers

[repeat over and overlay chorus]

Phillip Carter strikes an exceedingly shrill note about Ashcroft's recent remarks regarding the role of judges in the new world order.

We're now at the point in the H.P. Lovecraft novel where the dawning realization of not only how truly screwed everything is, but that the that only way this can turn out is death or insanity. And the nagging feeling that maybe not even death will save you.

Ashcroft v. Judges, Part XXXVIII

To call this appalling conduct by the nation's chief law enforcement officer would be to say too little. This is downright spurious conduct by someone vested with as much discretion as the Attorney General. Without a doubt, this speech is designed to draw fire away from Alberto Gonzales, who I wrote about earlier this week, and who faces significant confirmation questions of his own. And as a political tactic, this speech may well work.

But we should not confuse the smokescreen of politics for the true import of this speech. What this gives us is a view into the mind of the Bush administration, and one of the chief architects of its policies in the war on terrorism. To date, I have generally cut some slack to the administration, citing wartime necessity and exigency as possibly justifying some of their more extreme decisions. While I don't agree with their policies, I do recognize the difficult circumstances that shaped those policies. And in my articles to date, I have usually given some constructive credit to the administration for this reason. No more. What this speech makes clear is that the Attorney General has no balance when it comes to the critical issues of civil liberty and personal security in the war on terrorism. (You ain't going to find "rule of law" anywhere in the AG's resignation letter.) He does not engage in any deliberative process here, nor does he really give much weight to the rights of individuals in the pursuit of his department's goals. Indeed, he finds anyone concerned about those Constitutional values of liberty and privacy to be our nation's enemies, whether they be federal judges or civil rights lawyers.

Ultimately, much of the AG's rhetoric here will fall on deaf ears. Those at the Federalist Society are likely to buy his load of manure already, particularly the theoretical arguments about a "unitary executive" and the epistemological arguments about judicial deference to the executive on national security issues. Those on the left are likely to ignore this too, as simply one more reason to hate the Bush administration. I think that's unfortunate. This is the most explicit statement to date of the Bush administration's intentions, and this speech should find a place in every legal scholar's file as a clear expression of the administration's real values when it comes to balancing liberty with security. When scholars sit down in 10 or 20 years to write the legal history of America's war on terrorism, I imagine this speech will find a very prominent place in their work. The AG makes it very clear: In this fight, you're either with us or against us. And if you're against us, be afraid — be very afraid.

Mithras goes ahead and depresses me yet again. Not his fault, really. Just taking a brutal look at facts and draws the obvious conclusions.

Last week I got into several heated email conversations with well meaning people telling me that the democrats just need to let the whole gay marriage thing drop. To reach out to the moral values of middle America. As one kind soul put it

What I resent is being hijacked by faggots. They are on every fucking TV show telling me (and my kids if I had them) being gay is normal.

Fuck that. It is not Normal.

Why is it that something like 3% of the population has such a huge representation in the media?

Because you've been hijacked that's why.

Fair enough. But if they really believe that, the people they need to get angry at real fast are that little insignificant sliver of their party that is claiming credit -- even divine intervention -- and demanding power, the chief political adviser  to their president who seems to have bought into what they're calling a "myth," and above all a president who's dancing as fast as he can to the theocrat's tune.

If that's not your party, David Brooks, have the guts to stand up and say so, and get pissed at the people who are taking it over, not the people who are pointing out that  they're taking over. If that's not what you voted for, Charles Krauthammer, tell your president he's pandering in places better left unpandered.

But Books, Krauthammer and all the others like them can all take a long walk off a short pier. Myself, I'm really getting sick and tired of hearing the Right Wing (or the centrist wing, I can never keep these guys classified without a scorecard) whine and moan about something that is fundamentally their responsibility to resolve - seeing as how they support the guy.

Ralph Reed is not an idiot, and he and his minions have made damn sure that there's going to be a pound of flesh extracted for the support the Christian right is now going to extract from the republican party. It's a dangerous game. They've been screwed over by the right many times in the past - heck, many times by Bush, himself. They're not going to back down until they extract their price.

I always used to wonder whether this would finally splinter the right - the tension between the the Christian right and the rest of the "adults" is pretty palpable and the level has been high for decades. Apparently, these toadies are doing the usual primate thing and taking it all out on the lower status individuals. Rather than deal with the problem, they transfer their frustration and fear to the liberals.

They beat up liberals because they are powerless to beat up the people they're really angry about. It's a form of abuse and pretty darn pathetic. A reaction of frustrated impotency.

But then, we are talking about Brooks and Krauthammer after all. Frustrated impotency must be the least of what they're experiencing watching the Christian right in action.

Why don't we have paper audits on e-voting machines? It just seems like a no brainer. Why the huge push back from everyone on this? Is it a matter of money? A tedious matter of upgrading the currently sold systems? Of retooling the vast factories that are churning these things out?

Really now. Are we literally saying that we can't have a separate audit trail for the most important act of democracy?

It truly seems to be the case that the entire population of America is too clueless to be given the gift of democracy. Our elected representatives are simply powerless to spend sufficient funds and hire qualified security experts who otherwise would be able to make short work of this entire e-voting problem. Something so trivially fixed is resisted with all the bureaucratic might of the passive aggressive legions of zombies at their control and we are powerless to stop them.

You'd think that people were asking to overhaul the tax code or privatize social security or something.

Geesh. What monumental morons.

Yep, hope all you values voters are doing fine.

Go watch the video. It'll be so cool when our national guard is called out to plow over protesters in the name of the sweet baby Jesus. Read the eyewitness account. Value based fun for all the family.

LOS ANGELES, November 9, 2004 - At 7:50 PM two armored tanks showed up at an anti-war protest in front of the federal building in Westwood. The tanks circled the block twice, the second time parking themselves in the street and directly in front of the area where most of the protesters were gathered. Enraged, some of the people attempted to block the tanks, but police quickly cleared the street. The people continued to protest the presence of the tanks, but about ten minutes the tanks drove off. It is unclear as to why the tanks were deployed to this location.

Man, all I got to say is that this is a brilliant move. So the choice is to piss off yet another constituency the democrats are trying to woo or to give the stamp of approval to the guy with "State Sanctioned Torture" tattooed on his arm as attorney general.

A better object example of the uselessness of pandering as the solution to the democratic party's electoral woes simply couldn't be found. The problem here isn't values or appeal or the correct level of pandering or "message". The problem is simply that a guy who thinks it's okay to torture people isn't going to be portrayed as such. Any mention of this issue will quickly be watered down to meaningless gibberish by the jackals on the right and hopelessly buried in the middle of some incomprehensible article about the man. The American public remains completely ignorant about the facts - other than the Rove approved story line.

We all know the script here. Lefty bloggers get outraged. Centrist bloggers tell us it isn't that bad. Right wing attack dog bloggers completely obscure the issue by bringing up the evil obstructionist playbook of liberals. The media may have a mild tizzy - purely optional. Democratic Senators may object or not - doesn't matter. Gonzales gets the post.

All the time the pro-panderers will be fretting as to what they can do to keep the Hispanic vote after this politically brilliant move. Already several Democratic Senators are bending over and putting on the knee pads. No word yet on whether KY will be applied.

I'm sure in 2006 and 2008 we'll all be pouring over the voter statistics and beating ourselves across the face and neck over how we "lost" the Hispanic vote to republicans.

I can hardly wait to hear it! It'll be doubly cool to get more emails telling me what a fool democrats are for not running to the right on torture to capture the Red State values vote.

Something that's always blown me away is the astounding lack of faith that afflicts modern Christianity. They are so terrified by evolution - terrified by what it means to their faith.

Is their faith so weak that it is unable to believe in God if it turns out that evolution really is correct - as all facts point to? Are they so unsure of their beliefs that if it turns out that God decided to create the universe using evolution that their faith is for naught?

Every time I bring up the point with Christians, they are always taken aback. It startles them. Something clicks inside their heads and they think for a second and then say "of course not". Of course their faith won't be shaken if it turns out that evolution is actually correct. They'd still believe in God, the baby Jesus - the whole enchilada.

And so I think the correct tact to take with the whole creationism and evolution issue isn't a direct confrontation between the two. All you have to do is cAzaellenge the Christians as to the depth of their faith. Is their faith dependent on how the world works, or does their faith transcend this world?

CAzaellenge their faith. They'll rise to the bait just about every time and when the issue is framed in this way they seem to actually see the light.

Reframing. It's not just for breakfast anymore. It may just be the way out of this vicious battle that preserves both our cultures.

TO: Howard Dean

FROM: LiberalOasis

SUBJECT: DNC Chair

LiberalOasis hears that you are interested in being chair of the DNC.

Don't do it.

To be sure, you'd be great at it. But so would others, like Simon Rosenberg and Donna Brazile.

And there's another job that's currently open that desperately needs to be filled.

It doesn’t pay anything, but only you can do it.

It's a job that has never had a formal title associated with it, but let's give it one:

Strategist and Ass-Kicker At-Large, or SAKAL for short.

. . .

On the other hand, if you were DNC chair, you will not have the necessary freedom to push the envelope on message and strategy.

Anything edgy out of your mouth would ricochet throughout the right-wing media machine, twisted and distorted, and spin out of control.

Already wimpy Dems would go into meltdown mode, calling for your head. You'd never last.

But we need you to last.

Mathew of the unpronounceable last name provides the example in his response to Jane Galt's evoking of "Self Regulation" in pursuit of a noble cause.

Well, I think libertarians who want to talk more about the virtues of self-regulation in this field need to go back to the fundamental case for free market economies. The idea, unless I'm badly mistaken, is that inefficient companies will either go under or else start aping the techniques of their more-efficient competitors. A news network that chose to deliberately forego profitability for some high-minded reason or another would immediately face intense pressure from its parent company to shape up. News organizations almost certainly don't lack self-restraint because the people running them lack all conscience or something, they lack self-restraint in their coverage because the structure of the economy doesn't allow them to act on their conscience. They're supposed to be making money for their bosses and shareholders. I don't at all think that government intervention in this field would be a good idea, but self-restraint on the part of editors and so forth is more-or-less a non-started. If behavior is to be changed, it needs to be at the level of news consumers, which strikes me as unlikely to happen.

The economy -- including its media portion -- is set up to maximize our wealth, not to maximize the likely success of American foreign policy. There's not a great deal that can be done about that consistent with liberal norms. And it's quite true that this is something those who mean us ill are aware of and can and will exploit.

Every time I think I'm just going overboard with the whole Fuck The South^tm bit, the RWAP keeps coming back with more wacky shit. Just got to love them little monkeys with gun fetishs and the intelligence of a mole.

Oh, and Mike: You and the snake you rode in on. Liberal and proud of it.

Declaration of Expulsion: A Modest Proposal
It's Time to Reconfigure the United States

For many decades, conservative citizens and like-minded political leaders (starting with President Calvin Coolidge) have been denigrated by the vilest of lies and characterizations from hordes of liberals who now won't even admit that they are liberals--because the word connotes such moral stink and political silliness. As a class, liberals no longer are merely the vigorous opponents of the Right; they are spiteful enemies of civilization's core decency and traditions.

Defamation, never envisioned by our Founding Fathers as being protected by the First Amendment, flourishes and passes today for acceptable political discourse. Movies, magazines, newspapers, radio/TV programs, plays, concerts, public schools, colleges, and most other public vehicles openly traffic in slander and libel. Hollywood salivated over the idea of placing another golden Oscar into Michael Moore's fat hands, for his Fahrenheit 9/11 jeremiad, the most bogus, deceitful film documentary since Herr Hitler and Herr Goebbels gave propaganda a bad name.

When they tire of showering conservative victims with ideological mud, liberals promote the only other subjects with which they feel conversationally comfortable: Obscenity and sexual perversion. It's as if the genes of liberals have rendered them immune to all forms of filth.

In my never ending quest to offend the red state Christian right, I offer these. (via humor break)

1. Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she's yours.
-- (Deuteronomy 21:11-13)

2. Find a prostitute and marry her.
-- Hosea (Hosea 1:1-3)

3. Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock.
-- Moses (Exodus 2:16-21)

4. Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal.
-- Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)

5. Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife.
-- Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25)

6. Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you a rib.
-- Adam (Genesis 2:19-24)

7. Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman's hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That's right. Fourteen years of toil for a woman.
-- Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30)

8. Cut off 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law's enemies and get his daughter for a wife.
-- David (I Samuel 18:27)

9. Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you'll definitely find someone. (It's all relative of course.)
-- Cain (Genesis 4:16-17)

10. Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest.
-- Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4)

11. When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, "I have seen a ...woman; now get her for me." If your parents question your decision, simply say, "Get her for me. She's the one for me."
-- Samson (Judges 14:1-3)

12. Kill any husband and take HIS wife. (Prepare to lose your son though).
-- David (2 Samuel 11)

13. Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It's not just a good idea, it's the law).
-- Onan and Boaz (Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth)

14. Don't be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity.
-- Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3)

15. A wife?...NOT!!!
-- Paul (1 Corinthians 7:32-35

The next dickwad who says, "It’s your money, not the government's money" is gonna get their ass kicked. Nine of the ten states that get the most federal fucking dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go on, guess. That’s right, motherfucker, they're red states. And eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It’s too easy, asshole, they’re blue states. It’s not your money, assholes, it’s fucking our money. What was that Real American Value you were spouting a minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own fucking stop signs, assholes.

Let’s talk about those values for a fucking minute. You and your Southern values can bite my ass because the blue states got the values over you fucking Real Americans every day of the goddamn week. Which state do you think has the lowest divorce rate you marriage-hyping dickwads? Well? Can you guess? It’s fucking Massachusetts, the fucking center of the gay marriage universe. Yes, that’s right, the state you love to tie around the neck of anyone to the left of Strom Thurmond has the lowest divorce rate in the fucking nation. Think that’s just some aberration? How about this: 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are fucking blue states, asshole, and most are in the Northeast, where our values suck so bad. And where are the highest divorce rates? Care to fucking guess? 10 of the top 10 are fucking red-ass we're-so-fucking-moral states. And while Nevada is the worst, the Bible Belt is doing its fucking part.

But two guys making out is going to fucking ruin marriage for you? Yeah? Seems like you're ruining it pretty well on your own, you little bastards. Oh, but that's ok because you go to church, right? I mean you do, right? Cause we fucking get to hear about it every goddamn year at election time. Yes, we're fascinated by how you get up every Sunday morning and sing, and then you're fucking towers of moral superiority. Yeah, that's a workable formula. Maybe us fucking Northerners don't talk about religion as much as you because we're not so busy sinning, hmmm? Ever think of that, you self-righteous assholes? No, you're too busy erecting giant stone tablets of the Ten Commandments in buildings paid for by the fucking Northeast Liberal Elite. And who has the highest murder rates in the nation? It ain't us up here in the North, assholes.

Well this gravy train is fucking over. Take your liberal-bashing, federal-tax-leaching, confederate-flag-waving, holier-than-thou, hypocritical bullshit and shove it up your ass.

And no, you can't have your fucking convention in New York next time. Fuck off.

If you can't beat them, join them.

A brand new human being razor sharp all firm and tan
All clean, all pure with a 30 second attention span
As the clock strikes 12 and we're ready for party games
You play blind man's bluff and I'll play out charades
Heaven knows
What kind of fool am I, why you take an eye for an eye
What comes over me
You were pumping iron while I was pumping irony

Now I find myself fully occupied and Azaelf alive
With your head, heart, arms and legs wrapped around my family pride
See the whites of their eyes - then shoot - with all the romance of
the Ton-Ton Macoute

Nothing will show as we're shedding our clothes
Then I suppose that anything goes
Heaven knows

Okay, enough of this. It's not like all of recorded history isn't chock full of recitations of people acting contrary to their own best interests. And it's not like religious extremists have been recently discovered after their long dark slumber. Throughout all the time I've been politically aware, it's been no secret that religion and politics mix quite well. It's going to be the same as it's always been - an unbelievable uphill struggle while the very people you're trying to help are dumping vast kettles of stinky shit down upon you.

I take great comfort in the fact that the universe simply isn't fair. I simply cannot believe that all the horrible things happen to people because they deserve their fate.

And so we're fighting always with a disadvantage. Because we believe in diversity, we simply cannot pander to Evangelical Christians in the way that Kristof demands. Boo, hoo. Because we believe in civil rights, we can't pander to the racist and homo phobia that permeates a fair percentage of our population. Wail, bitch and moan.

Man, it's really such a pity that democrats can't support wacky fiscal or foreign policy to woo voters. Sniff, sniff. We really seem to have a liability with this whole having a soul thing. Damn them all to hell.

Who on earth thought this was going to be easy? The side of what is good and right is always fighting against the odds. History shows us nothing to contradict this. It's going to suck. A lot of people are going to die. More idiots, jackals and vampires are going to be born. Unspeakable daemons will take human form and campaign for office.

We're living in an H.P. Lovecraft novel. Get used to it. At least you're still fighting and with a little bit of luck you'll make that saving throw.

Via ogged, we have more interesting cartograms of the 2004 election.

Wake up people.

If the democratic party has any faults, the single fault that dwarfs all others in the way that the planet Jupiter dwarfs the planet Mercury is the fault of self flagellation.

I'm certainly not saying that our problem is the healthy introspection and analysis that all members of the reality based community have in their common genes. I'm also not talking about the humbling realization that you're not perfect and that you need the advice and help of others to deal with the mind boggling complexity of the real world.

What I'm talking about is the current level of bitch slapping we're giving ourselves over why we lost this election and how we have to give our party a complete makeover in order to win back the electorate.

The secret of GW's election revealed.

Remember Poland!

Via Bob @ Unfogged, we find that some liberals are taking the opportunity to treat themselves to something nice in these trying times.

Hmmm.

Christian Conservatives Must Not Compromise
voters reject liberalism, an evil ideology

Christians, in politics as in evangelism, are not against people or the world. But we are against false ideas that hold good people captive. On Tuesday, this nation rejected liberalism, primarily because liberalism has been taken captive by the left. Since 1968, the left has taken millions captive, and we must help those Democrats who truly want to be free to actually break free of this evil ideology.

In the weeks and months to come, we will hear the voices of well-meaning people beseeching the victor to compromise with the vanquished. This would be a mistake. Conservatives must not compromise with the left. Good people holding false ideas are won over only if we defeat what is false with the truth.

The left must be defeated in the realm of ideas, just as it was on Tuesday at the ballot box. The left hates the ballot box and loves its courtrooms, which is why it hopes to continue to advance its agenda through the courts. This must end.

The left bewitches with its potions and elixirs, served daily in its strongholds of academe, Hollywood and old media. It vomits upon the morals, values and traditions we hold sacred: God, family and country. As we learned Tuesday, it is clear the left holds the majority of Americans, the majority of us, in contempt.

Okay, put your cards on the table. I want to know what supports the framing of the liberal mindset. Where's the authoritarian streak? Examples. Where's the nanny state? Examples. Where's the Stalinist, anti-capitalism? Examples.

<crickets chirping>

This is particularly crucial to remember in the coming months of darkness in which the very fabric of our society is torn asunder.

Who Are We?

They didn't win the campaign because they have a coherent ideology and we didn't. Rupert Murdock and Jerry Falwell are not pursuing the same goals. "Democracy" and Ilyiad Allawi do not belong in the same sentence. Radical tax cutting and running wars to the tune of a billion a day is not fiscal responsibility. Bigotry is not compassionate and destroying the safety net we've depended on for more than Azaelf a century is not conservative.

These people aren't united by a common ideology or set of values. They are united by a common hatred of Democrats, fueled by a massive propaganda machine. They won this campaign by putting on a trash talking spectacle starring George W. Bush as Commander Codpiece. (Those who wanted to ban gay marriage got in two for the price of one.) The problem is that show biz conservatism has become the default channel for more Americans. It's about identity, not ideology.

Ara asks

So, why aren't progressives more attuned to this view of the world? Why are we using words like "theocracy" to describe the difference between our sides? That doesn't convince anyone, mobilize anyone; it won't win any votes.

In my moral code, it's pretty clear to me that, whatever is in your heart, there's nothing more contemptible than to increase or exacerbate the level of hate and intolerance in the world, and to do it willfully for personal gain is despicable. I'd be a lot quicker to forgive someone who had been deeply racist "in his heart," because of how he'd been brought up or whatever, than someone who merely used racism. I think that like Wallace, Karl Rove, Bush and the Cheneys, as pure as their hearts may be and as much as they may love their gay family and friends, are the more morally contemptible for the willfullness by which they choose to stoke the hostility and intolerance of others.

This is naive and even condescending. Conservative, values-minded Christians aren't looking for validation. They're looking for specific policy outcomes that their strongly-held beliefs entail - among them, the prohibition of abortion and the marginalization and if possible elimination of homosexuality. They are not empty urns waiting to be filled with liberal policies dissolved in honeyed words about faith.

My question is this. Is there any combination of issues upon which we Democrats could accommodate these people that doesn't include backing anti-gay measures like that? In other words, as long as the Democratic party believes in equal rights for gay people is there a snowball's chance in hell that we will be able to tear the religious vote away from the party that doesn't with outreach to "heartland values?"

I doubt it. In fact, I think that we are talking about a wedge issue that is insurmountable. Civil rights are a fundamental matter of principle, not a position on specific programs or tax cut legislation. And I don't see any possibility that we will be able to make inroads with people who believe that homosexuality is a sin as a matter of bedrock religious belief. We can field a candidate who runs a campaign like a tent revival, but this is one of those issues that can't be finessed. As long as we believe in the separation of church and state and back civil rights for gays we are not going to get the conservative Christian vote. We just aren't.

Let's remember who the jokers are who are framing these memes for us. It isn't the people with a soul, it's the people who think denying civil rights based on religious beliefs is their most important issue. An issue to be manipulated for political gain. Let's be frank about the real issues here. And let's not get played yet again by these Jackals.

We can complain about how well our representatives communicate these values, but not being able to communicate them isn't a symptom of not having them. In the 2004 election, it was simply the case that the values democrats communicate and believe in were spat upon and denounced by the other side. Kerry may not be the warmest man, but he could have been Bill Clinton or Barak Obama and the same result would have played out - probably a lot nastier.

Again, I think the real question is not where are the moral values or those who can communicate them in the Democratic party.

The real question is why on earth the members of these religions haven't risen up and taken their religion back from these Jackals who just won the election.

Ye gods. Michelle "round 'em up" Malkin is trotting out this map as proof that America is "Red All Over"

Yep, this is the intellectual cream of the right wing crop. Someone who doesn't even understand the idea of population distribution. Here's essentially the same map, but area modified to account for population distribution (electoral votes are used as a surrogate).

These people are blithering idiots who can't even think their way out of a wet paper bag. These are the people who think rocks and trees are surrogate republican citizens.

This is the future of America.

Via Crooked Timber

Is that no one literally knows what the fuck Bush is going to do. They don't know who the heck is going to be in his administration. There's the foreign policy wonks telling us that Bush's past mistakes will limit the insanity he can come up with. I find this theory particularly hilarious because the reason we're in Iraq is because Bush certainly doesn't listen to anyone telling him we don't have resources to do anything, nor any realistic chance of actually dealing with the fallout of his actions.

Then there's the whole fiscal mystery of the second Bush administration. I doubt even Poor and Stupid has the slightest clue as to how Bush is going to reign in spending without raising taxes. Apparently, we all believe Karl Rove is going to pull a couple of trillion dollars out of Bush's ass and solve our budget problem. More tax cuts!

And then there's the actual issue of Iraq and the other pressing "war on terror" issues that Bush's solution is apparently the choice of millions. I'd love to hear what it is. Any time now. And after the January elections, are things going to calm down in Iraq? Or does it keep getting worse which paradoxically proves it is only getting better? Maybe we can start seeing more of those freshly painted schools in our fine liberal press.

I'll leave aside all the pesky little details like health care, education, aids, genocide in Sudan, a nuclear N. Korea, a nuclear Iran and dealing with Ossama running about making rock videos while Al Qaeda metastasizes and grows.

But really. Where's the plan? It can't simply be bashing the democrats and blaming us for everything from SARS to terrorism, can it?

Update: Ask and ye sAzaell receive. Hoo boy, get ready everybody. This is going to be Grover Norquist's wet dream.

John Kerry still rocks. I don't give a flying fuck at a rolling donut what you think of the man. I think the campaign was stellar and run better than anything I've ever even read about in the past. I'm still stunned by the turn out in Pennsylvania. The GOTV operation was as better than our most orgasmic dreams.

I mean, it was a campaign consisting of humans, so there were mistakes. But JHCORFC, look at what we were fighting. My word, did anyone else but me notice the gay marriage issues on the 11 states? What the hell do you think Kerry is going to do against that? Come out for Abortion and the rounding up of everybody who even looks like a terrorist? Or maybe you'd prefer the Nader route of absolute oblivion (or the libertarian route of near irrelevancy).

Walking the razors edge of centrist politics is pretty darn near impossible and Kerry did it like a pro. It was the wrong strategy (hey, just my opinion) but the democrats functioned like a group and executed the chosen strategy like a well oiled machine.

So cut off the head of the sacrificial lambs and let's figure out whether we're going to join Canada (I kid! I kid!) or some other strategy for winning back our country.

I'm certainly not going to participate in a democratic piranha fest. My anger is reserved for the 51% who think GW's whole last 4 years are just peachy and that democrats are evil socialist Frenchman who need to be taught a lesson.

You are the ones who are going to be the focus of my life for the next four years. Some way, some how we're going to get more of us than you and - "Bob" willing - we'll finally evict your torture excusing, imperial sanctifying, gay hating, fiscally irresponsible, occupation planning incompetent asses out of American politics.

For good.

Another thing. I was talking to my dad about this before the election.

Rather than running around lecturing latte' swilling elitist liberal yuppies on reaching out to religion, perhaps the time would be better spent by these people reforming their own house and taking back their religion.

Let's remember that the public face of the Christian right is represented by Ralph Reed, Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, Gary Bauer, Alan Keyes and countless other high profile "religious" types. And let us not forget that the president they all think is so great on the religious front is none other than George Bush. The guy who is so religious he can't be bothered to go to church. A guy who has such high morals that he's willing to sanction state sponsored torture and detainment without trial or right to a lawyer. I won't even mention the whole just war moral calculus the religious types keep mumbling on and on about.

I'm all for bridging the divide, and I'll do my part to participate in a frank discussion about religion and politics. But quite frankly, your own house is stinking of shit and needs quite the house cleaning. Perhaps if you put more elbow grease into taking back your religion from this pack of jackals than the effort you put into preaching to us poor latte' swilling liberal yuppies we'd both advance the cause a heck of a lot faster.

Just a thought.

Matt's absolutely right. Officially, this is a bunch of loose talk that's unpatriotic. Although I'm a little bit unclear as to how this can be the case when Jesus Land is always strutting around with the symbol of the only time part of the United States tried to leave the union (over slavery, if I recall correctly). I mean, it's not like the future part of Canada wasn't bitch slapped during this election by the "Nascar" crowd. But I digress.

Nursing my schadenfreude, I note that it would be truly delicious to surgically remove the fifth largest economy in the world and join it up with our friends in the north. And I'm really jazzed that the right coast is part of a contiguous, friendly frozen land. No doubt the land value will rise as the global temperature does. It's a good investment.

I doubt we'd get southern California, though. Arnie wants to be President for life of Jesus land, and he can't have his summer palace being located in another country. That won't do at all.

I think I'm going to start a drinking game. Every time some middle of the road milque toast do gooder tries to tell me that I have to "get over it" and heal the bitter partisan divide. I think I'm going to slug the next sycophantic right winger who lectures me about divisive politics. I've had it up to here with listening to this crap.

House GOP says the way is paved for Bush agenda
Pence: ‘Dems lost their leader. That speaks spades.’

“It’s an affirmation of the direction we’ve been going,” said Government Reform Committee Chairman Tom Davis (Va.), who predicted that the GOP agenda in the 109th Congress will look “pretty much like it did — tort reform and the usual.”

Speaker J. Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.) pledges to work with Democrats.

He added that the defeat of Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle (D-S.D.) will make it tougher for the Senate to block House-passed bills. “Democrats lost their leader; that speaks spades,” he said.

Rep. Mike Pence (R-Ind.), new chairman of the conservative Republican Study Committee, said: “There’s a mandate for conservative leadership in the outcome of this election. The American people have spoken in deafening terms that they want
Republican leadership in the White House and Capitol Hill.”

Deafening. Indeed. The level of cognitive dissonance it takes to say it's going to be business as usual and to gloat over their trouncing of the Democrats while at the same time claiming to "reach out" is truly deafening.

I don't know about anyone else out there, but the OpEd by Kristof pretty much blew my mind.

Living Poor, Voting Rich

To appeal to middle America, Democratic leaders don't need to carry guns to church services and shoot grizzlies on the way. But a starting point would be to shed their inhibitions about talking about faith, and to work more with religious groups.

Otherwise, the Democratic Party's efforts to improve the lives of working-class Americans in the long run will be blocked by the very people the Democrats aim to help.

Let's take a look at the facts. These religious folk of which Kristof speaks value morals so highly that they are willing to sanction state sponsored torture to spite the latte' swilling yuppies over on the coasts. Face it Kristof, the religious people with a soul are already on our side. In my book, if you're willing to excuse state sanctioned torture to spite someone, you're not a person that I'm really obligated to deal with. In any event, they certainly aren't part of a loving religion that I'd like anything to do with.

And then there's the fact that all this faith based hand wringing is only focused on the Christian right. Has anyone done any demographics of the democratic vote? Is it truly the case that we don't have similar demographics of religious people? Are all those black churches I see the monkeys on the right holding up when ever I talk about mixing religion and politics really just a secret group of Masons or something? I mean, let's come off it people.

And let's face it. The group that we are being lectured on to reach out to are the people who want to outlaw abortion. Sorry for bringing that up and disturbing the sensitivities of the religious types, but that isn't something I'm willing to barter away. Neither are they. Somehow, I don't think yet another lecture on pandering to Evangelicals is going to sooth my heart when Bush appoints two, maybe four Supreme court justices that are almost certainly going to be itching to overturn Roe V. Wade.

So just get off our case.

Stop this silly crap about how we liberals "hate" religion. We hate theocracy. Not religion.

You can climb up on the podium and preach to us when you've resolved your own conscience regarding the just war moral calculus with the disaster unfolding. After someone explains to us how state sanctioned torture is allowed while we're letting genocide continue in the Sudan, then they can lecture me about how Eco Grizzlies piss off god fearing, gay hating, gun toting people who's actual source of employment is likely drastically reducing our fragile natural environment. You know, the world where our ice caps are melting? Oh, I forgot. That whole science thing is offensive liberal crap that I have to bargain away.

And while we're at it can some one on the "religious" side of this argument please explain to me why a bunch of elitist, latte' swilling Eco yuppies are going out of their way, at great expense to their own lives to take care of people who spit on their way of life and their beliefs. I mean, it apparently doesn't count for anything that we're doing the right thing, against our interests to make the world a better place for these jokers and to make their lives easier and more successful.

I'm getting a little sick and tired at being preached to by a bunch of people who are poking me in the eye for the help I'm giving them.

I'm particularly tired of the jackals they hang around with who are destroying this country and have far nastier things planned than the dewy eyed lambs they have in their thrall.

And why is it that all the religious types really like guns and blowing stuff up any way? Anyone ever figure that one out?

Just wondering.

People sometimes ask me, "Azael, who do you turn to in times of trouble for sound, moral guidance?". I never hesitate. It's always Gambling Bill Bennett.

Right now, I'm hearing a lot of back peddaling on the right and some no, no, no, NO, it was NOT evangelicals that gave the right their mandate of 3.6 million votes and a solid electoral victory. You're all full of shit. Granted, they may not be able to extract their pound of flesh out of you - lord knows y'all are slippery bastards who skip out when the check is due - but rest assured they are going to try like hell. And need I remind you that they've been waiting for payment for over two decades? They are not a patient people. . .

The Great Relearning

Having restored decency to the White House, President Bush now has a mandate to affect policy that will promote a more decent society, through both politics and law. His supporters want that, and have given him a mandate in their popular and electoral votes to see to it. Now is the time to begin our long, national cultural renewal ("The Great Relearning," as novelist Tom Wolfe calls it) — no less in legislation than in federal court appointments. It is, after all, the main reason George W. Bush was reelected.

As TBogg sez:

So, when we read that it was evangelicals who were responsible for putting God's other son (the slow one: Fredo Christ) into the White House for four more years we can take solace in the fact that when it comes to Christianity, evolution is not their friend.

This is bitter, nasty and below the fold.

Well, I went to sleep early last night. I wake up to Bush's victory lap.

So, this is what you want America? Wow. I'd like to say that we'll all come together and heal over this, now that we have a bona fide victory for Bush. But I do not believe this will happen. A 3.6 million vote mandate will just make it so that there will be zero opposition to these jokers. They own the white house. They own the Senate. They own the Congress. They will now completely own the courts.

Get ready for the Christian right to start collecting their markers - in spades. Get ready for the complete evisceration of social security, Medicare and environmental regulations.

This is what America wants, obviously.

Me? All my money is being pulled out America and put into Euro denominated bonds and accounts. These guys are going to devastate our country.

Wow. Never would have believed this would happen.

Well, I'd better brace for the cudgeling and beating the left is going to take after this. There is going to be no stopping these guys. No stopping them what so ever.

First, get out and vote if you haven't already. Seriously. Even if you're a Republican poll intimidater verifier from hell. You're going to miss out of being a part of a once in a generation event.

We need to severe this hideous head from the Republican body politic, fill its mouth with salt, bury the head and body on opposite sides of a really, really wide river and then nuke the site from high orbit.

Politically speaking, of course.

When you were young and your heart was an open book,
You used to say live and let live.
(You know you did, you know you did, you know you did.)
But if this ever changing world in which we live in,
Makes you give in and cry...
Say live and let die.
Live and let die.

What does it matter to you?
When you got a job to do you gotta do it well.
You've got to give the other fella hell.

You used to say live and let live.
(You know you did, you know you did, you know you did.)
But if this ever changing world in which we live in
Makes you give in and cry,
Say live and let die.

Let's close this in style.

My prediction:

300+ electoral votes for Kerry.
52.5% of the popular vote.